Moms…do you ever feel like the
weight of the world is resting firmly on your shoulders? Do you ever feel like
it's your job…YOUR JOB… to make sure that your kids always do the right thing
and turn out well? Do you ever worry that the entire neighborhood is aware and
judging you when your kids sneak out of the house with mismatched socks, messy
hair and less-than-polite attitudes?
Oftentimes,
the most loving and effective mothers take the most heat from others and
themselves.
Wonderful moms understand that
kids need to make plenty of small, affordable mistakes. They know that kids
must experience occasional struggles and disappointments. They also know that
constant rescuing or micromanaging just creates kids who need constant rescuing
and micromanaging.
Because of this, the best moms
often feel a bit lonely and unsure of themselves. They feel lonely because our
society too frequently rewards what looks good rather than what is good. They
feel lonely because they rarely overhear other mothers bragging about allowing
their kids to learn by forgetting a lunch, misplacing an occasional homework
paper, or having to pay for a lost coat.
The
best moms often feel a bit lonely and unsure of themselves.
It's easy to feel guilty or insecure
when you see so many "super hover mommies" acting like pack mules,
carrying all of their children's sporting equipment, back packs and other
responsibilities. It's easy to lose perspective when your minivan is the only
one without an "Honor Student" bumper sticker. It's tempting to waver
when the parents next door are working harder completing their child's homework
than their child is.
On this Mother's Day holiday, I
hope to encourage all of the wonderful mothers who let things fall apart from
time to time…who understand the wisdom of providing a rather imperfect world
for their kids. When you find yourself feeling insecure or guilty, listen to
our audio, Helicopters, Drill Sergeants and Consultants, and be
reminded that it's far better for our kids to submit a sloppy science fair
project than them seeing us hunched over the kitchen table frantically doing it
for them.
Thanks for reading! Our goal is
to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
Dr. Charles Fay
