Love and Logic

Moms…do you ever feel like the weight of the world is resting firmly on your shoulders? Do you ever feel like it's your job…YOUR JOB… to make sure that your kids always do the right thing and turn out well? Do you ever worry that the entire neighborhood is aware and judging you when your kids sneak out of the house with mismatched socks, messy hair and less-than-polite attitudes?

 

Oftentimes, the most loving and effective mothers take the most heat from others and themselves.

 

Wonderful moms understand that kids need to make plenty of small, affordable mistakes. They know that kids must experience occasional struggles and disappointments. They also know that constant rescuing or micromanaging just creates kids who need constant rescuing and micromanaging.

 

Because of this, the best moms often feel a bit lonely and unsure of themselves. They feel lonely because our society too frequently rewards what looks good rather than what is good. They feel lonely because they rarely overhear other mothers bragging about allowing their kids to learn by forgetting a lunch, misplacing an occasional homework paper, or having to pay for a lost coat.

 

The best moms often feel a bit lonely and unsure of themselves.

 

It's easy to feel guilty or insecure when you see so many "super hover mommies" acting like pack mules, carrying all of their children's sporting equipment, back packs and other responsibilities. It's easy to lose perspective when your minivan is the only one without an "Honor Student" bumper sticker. It's tempting to waver when the parents next door are working harder completing their child's homework than their child is.

 

On this Mother's Day holiday, I hope to encourage all of the wonderful mothers who let things fall apart from time to time…who understand the wisdom of providing a rather imperfect world for their kids. When you find yourself feeling insecure or guilty, listen to our audio, Helicopters, Drill Sergeants and Consultants, and be reminded that it's far better for our kids to submit a sloppy science fair project than them seeing us hunched over the kitchen table frantically doing it for them.

 

Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.

 

Dr. Charles Fay

Through the Looking Glass

Here is the site to practice the songs for Through the Looking Glass.

https://sites.google.com/a/highlineacademy.org/ms-tobias-music-info/third-grade

thanks,
Ms. Tobias

 

teacher appreciation!!

Thank you so much for all the wonderful ways you all have shown us your appreciation this week!!! We are overwhelmed with gratitude. Your cards, flowers, gifts and FOOD have all been so enjoyed and treasured. THANK YOU so much for sharing your amazing children with us!!

Ms. Whalen
Ms. Wetzel
Ms. Miles

Love and Logic

Maybe you know a kid who’s mastered the art of shooting looks that kill. Maybe this "kid" is really an adult who’s maturity-challenged. Here are some tips:

 

Resist the urge to act like a child.

 

Are you like me? Do you ever find yourself tempted to reciprocate to your child’s snotty attitude with a mucus-like one of your own?

 

Resist this temptation and do your best to remain calm.

 

Give honest feedback while making the problem belong to your child.

 

Kids need to get honest feedback about how they come across to others…and the impact this is likely to have on their OWN lives. With a strong dose of empathy, experiment with saying:

 

When you stick your tongue out and say those nasty things,

you're really no fun to be around. I will always love you,

but few others will if you continue to act that way.

That would be a pretty lonely life.

 

Take good care of yourself by setting and enforcing healthy limits.

 

Becoming a doormat only teaches your child to treat others like doormats. Examples of healthy limits include:

 

I play with kids who talk nicely.

 

I cook dinner for people who express thankfulness rather than complaining about what I serve.

 

Feel free to join us when you can act sweet.

 

I enjoy providing privileges to kids who talk and act nicely.

 

Also, set firm limits over television and video game use.

 

Most television content glorifies nasty, sarcastic attitudes. Too much time spent interacting with video games makes it tougher for kids to display patience and grace with real-life people.

 

Nasty looks and nasty comments aren’t just annoying…they’re hurtful to those who deliver them. That’s why you shouldn’t feel guilty for taking a firm and loving approach to the problem. For more tips and techniques read Love and Logic Magic: When Kids Leave You Speechless.

 

Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.

 

Dr. Charles Fay

 

TCAP

Phew- we made it through the first round of TCAP testing. I am hoping that some of the anxiety of this new type of testing is somewhat relieved now that your child knows what the test looks like.

Please keep in mind as we enter the 2nd and 3rd round of testing in the next few weeks that your child will need to be well rested, come to school on time, and have a nutritious breakfast.

If you are able, will you please bring in healthy snacks to feed our bodies and minds before we test? We could use go-gurts, cheese sticks, fruits- bananas cut in half, apple slices, cuties, etc...

Our next testing dates are:
Writing- Tuesday and Wednesday March 12th and 13th.

Math- Tuesday and Wednesday March 19th and 20th.

Thanks!
Ms. Whalen, Ms. Wetzel and Ms. Miles

Science and Social Studies study guides...

Ancient Rome Study guide- click here

Astronomy Study guide- click here

Forwarded from Love and Logic!

Far too many parents find themselves mired in un-winnable power-struggles over homework…battles that damage parent-child relationships result in further resistance to learning and they steal joy.

 There's good news! With some practical tips, we can enjoy cooperative kids while building a life-long love of learning:

• Prevent resistance by providing choices within limits.

Of course, only give choices that will make you happy regardless of what your child decides. For example:

 

Do you want to work on math first or reading first?

 

Would you like to do the odd problems or the even ones?

 

Would you like to read sitting down or standing up?

• When your children get resistant, allow them to learn by refusing to.

Refusing to do a homework assignment can serve as a more important life lesson than the content of the assignment.

The next time your child gets resistant, experiment with walking away from the table and saying:

 

I love you too much to fight with you about homework.

I'll be happy to help when I see that you want my help.

• Let their grades be their grades.

When their grades are poor, be sad for them. Using empathy rather than anger dramatically increases the odds that they'll actually feel bad about getting bad grades. When this begins to happen, the consequence comes from inside the child…rather than us having to provide one from the outside. In my book, From Bad Grades to a Great Life (now available as an e-book) I provide a variety of additional strategies for helping kids develop this type of internal drive.

• Build them up in their strengths.

Kids who make a lot of mistakes also need to experience plenty of success. That's why it's so important to encourage them to spend time and energy on their strengths. Celebrating their successes cements our relationship and gives them the courage to tackle the tough stuff!

 

 

Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.