There's good news! With some
practical tips, we can enjoy cooperative kids while building a life-long love
of learning:
- Prevent
resistance by providing choices within limits.
Of course, only give choices that will make you happy regardless
of what your child decides. For example:
Do you want to work on math first or reading first?
Would you like to do the odd problems or the even ones?
Would you like to read sitting down or standing up?
- When your
children get resistant, allow them to learn by refusing to.
Refusing to do a homework assignment can serve as a more
important life lesson than the content of the assignment.
The next time your child gets resistant, experiment with walking away from the table and saying:
I love
you too much to fight with you about homework.
I'll be
happy to help when I see that you want my help.
- Let their grades
be their grades.
When their grades are poor, be sad for them. Using empathy
rather than anger dramatically increases the odds that they'll actually feel
bad about getting bad grades. When this begins to happen, the consequence comes
from inside the child…rather than us having to provide one from the outside. In
my book, From Bad
Grades to a Great Life (now available as an e-book) I
provide a variety of additional strategies for helping kids develop this type
of internal drive.
- Build them up in
their strengths.
Kids who make a lot of mistakes also need to experience plenty
of success. That's why it's so important to encourage them to spend time and
energy on their strengths. Celebrating their successes cements our relationship
and gives them the courage to tackle the tough stuff!
Thanks for reading! Our goal is
to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
